Tales of a wandering lesbian

Meditation Take 2

Okay.  If you play Frisbee golf, don’t practice in a busy park where people are trying to relax.  Find another location.  If for some reason you are still tempted to practice in the busy park, here’s a preview of what you could be in for.

If you have a queasy stomach, I’d go look at today’s vocab and just skip this one.

Last night Leigh and I took Libby to the park for a walk and talk and a little meditation.  About 2 minutes after I’d set my alarm for the 20 mins of quiet time, a group of guys walked down the path next to our park bench and started playing Frisbee.  About a minute after that, we heard “HEADS,” as something hit the tree above us and rocketed down into Leigh’s head.

Not awesome.

Initially, I thought it was just a normal Frisbee, so I was concerned, but not freaked out.  No, it was a frickin’ Frisbee golf flying death device.  These things are like hard, heavy plastic discus bludgeons.  Not conducive to meditation.

Long story short, we ended up on hold with 911, with a visit from the EMTs, and a trip to the ER.

The dudes with the discus of death ended up with a load in their shorts and an earful from Leigh.  They have promised not to practice in busy parks ever again.  Good call guys.

Fortunately, I had the camera!  Here are the highlights:

Blood Head

Leigh’s head after it stopped bleeding.  That’s my hand-print

Blood Flip

Leigh being bandaged.  The EMTs were a little quick to say there was no other way to bandage her head.  Very funny, guys.

Also, did you know that if you walk into the ER looking like this, you don’t have to wait – at all?  True story.  The guy in front of us who was complaining of back pain and face-swelling had to go sit in the waiting room.  Tough brake, Man.

Blood Dog

Libby the bloodhound.  She was seriously begging to lick his hands.  Not a good sign.

Good FaceBlood Face

I think Leigh had an uncanny resemblance to the Batman character, Two-Face.  Pretty funny given she’s basically a prosecutor.

Hospital Bed

The ER doc said we’re “cool patients.”  That’s right.  Remember that.

Stitches

Well, at least something good came of this.  If the whole law thing doesn’t work out for Leigh, at least she makes a cute nun…or member of the Spamalot cast – whichever really.

So, what have we learned:

1.  Don’t play with Frisbee golf death devices around other people.

2.  If you go to the ER with a swelling face issue, make sure you wrap it in bloody bandages first.

3.  We’re cool patients.

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July 14, 2009   2 Comments

Self-Taught

I’ve taught myself a number of things over the years:  guitar, Microsoft Access, html.  Right now I’m learning how to meditate.

Every day I try to take some time with my dog Libby and we sit in the park in our neighborhood.

Picture 047

This is the view from the bench we sit in.  Meditation has a steep learning-curve for me, but ‘m willing to give it time.

Today, on our way to the park, we happened upon the evidence of someone else’s self-training.

Picture 035

These books were scattered next to the sidewalk.  It’s so awesome I had to go back to get my camera…

Along with the “Teach Yourself to Play Guitar” book was another gem:

Orgasm Bible

Yeah, that’s how enlightened I am.  I had to walk back to the house to get the camera to take a picture of the word “orgasm.”

You see what I mean about a steep learning-curve.  I think maybe I should try a little harder with the meditation.

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July 10, 2009   2 Comments