Tales of a wandering lesbian


One of the best dirty Italian exclamations I’ve learned is “cazzo!” It literally means “dick” but is used anywhere we’d say “shit!” It’s pronounced “catso!” It’s super handy. I always think of cats when I say it.

It came in handy this week. I’ve been sleeping on the sofa-bed, which means there is no bed-side table, or lamp. The closest lamp is a floor-lamp about 6 feet from the bed. This is very inconvenient for my night time ritual, which is reading Harry Potter until I’m drooling, and then reaching over to turn off the light.

This weekend I tried a new tactic: headlamp. It works perfectly when camping, so I thought I’d give it a go at home.

All was well for the first couple of minutes. I could read the book, and aside from blinding Libby, everything seemed cool.

Then I noticed one of the cats, Juniper, staring at me. Cat owners will know that this is not odd cat behavior. What was odd was that her head started swaying and she moved toward me on the bed.

Then I saw the bug.

A little green bug, attracted by my headlamp, landed on my chest and then darted up toward the light on my forehead.


Fortunately, I realized what was about to go down just before Juniper lunged. I tossed the headlamp and got out of bed to turn on the floor-lamp.

Better to have my face than to have convenience.

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August 18, 2009   6 Comments